He always called me Glady.

And he always called me beautiful.

For 13,202 days he called me beautiful.

Glady was so happy.

Glady was positive.

Glady was loved every day.

Glady was married to Gary.

Glady had her person

Glady was complete.

Loss rearranged my sense of self.  I am no longer the person I once was.  That person is gone.

It’s like someone came in while I was asleep and rearranged everything inside.  All familiar things are lost, though the outsides remain the same.  I am not what I once was.

And while life is always a series of personal reinventions, this time – this time feels different.

I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know what to do. But I am doing the work to figure it out.